iDidn't Expect That
by Mlle. Madeline
Summary: "Oh, my God." The obligatory iOMG fic. Or, five different perspectives on what happened the night of the lock-in.
1. Sam

**A/N: Hi! So, **_**ohmygod iLMM just happened and I am dying. **_**GAH. Alrighty, so, here is my obligatory iOMG fic. Technically, I did post "iTangled" on iOMG night, but it wasn't a fic about iOMG or any of that, so I don't count it. Anyway, this is iOMG from six different perspectives. Enjoy! Review! Spaz over the upcoming arc! WHOO! :D  
>Disclaimer: Really? No.<strong>

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><p><strong>iCan't Believe I Just Did That<strong>

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><p>My senses returned to me with the lightning-fast speed of a doped-up sloth ambling through molasses.<p>

_Oh shit, shit, shit, shit._

When I finally realized what I was doing, I pulled my lips off Freddie and backed up a couple steps. He was staring at me, looking understandably bewildered.

I didn't have anything to say. I was too busy internally beating myself up, because what the _fuck _did I think I was doing? I just _kiss-attacked _Freddie out of _nowhere_.

What did I think was going to happen? That he was gonna _reciprocate_? That he was going to take me in his arms and say, "Oh, Sam, guess what? I'm actually secretly in love with you too; let's go eat chili dogs and make out"?

I'm so stupid.

Even though that was a whole lot of thought-vomit, it was only a few seconds of us staring at each other, shell-shocked by my idiocy, until Freddie spoke.

Or, you know, _tried_ to speak, anyway. "I – uh – " was about all he could get out.

I was about three seconds away from drowning in awkward. "Sorry," I said blandly.

What else was I going to say? "Yep, so, surprise! I'm wildly in love with a nub named Freddie Benson, you lucky son-of-a-bitch, you! Let's go eat chili dogs and make out"?

I can't believe how _stupid_ I am.

I had to escape.

"It's cool," Freddie said back. He looked away from me, thank _God_, but then he looked back at me, God _damn it_, waiting for…well, an explanation of what the _hell _I had just done, I guess.

And I didn't have one. Well. Not a _good _one. Only the stupid truth.

I broke eye contact, finding fascination in a blue bike locked to the rack over by the library door.

(I can't believe I basically admitted I'm _in love _with him. Sam Puckett never admits _anything_. Stupid, stupid.)

I could still feel him staring at me, and I hated it. I hated the feeling of his confusion boring into my head.

I almost wanted him to _say _something. _Any_thing. He didn't, of course. He was just standing there, staring at me, waiting for me.

And I was dying of mortification. So I did what I do best – I ran away.

I mean, not actually literally run. Every muscle in my body begged me to bolt, but I'd be damned if I didn't reclaim at least a _little _dignity.

So I put on my best _Sam Puckett Doesn't Give a Rat's Ass _face of mild, good-natured boredom, twisting my lips to one side. "Welllll," I said slowly, moving past Freddie, back towards the library, while swinging my arms in the most nonchalant manner I could manage (meanwhile, thinking, _I look like a pubescent gorilla_). "I'm just…gonna…" And I trailed off at that, thanking _God _that I was close enough to my escape door that I could slip through it without trying to finish my sentence.

_I hate him so much._

I hate that he does this to me.

I hate that I lost control.

_I hate that I'm totally in love with him._

Oh my God, I've gone crazy.


	2. Brad

**Disclaimer: Still no.**

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><p><strong>iJust Want an A<strong>

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><p>Transferring to Ridgeway wasn't as hard as I'd been afraid. The students (and teachers) are…well, they're pretty weird, but also super-friendly and so I felt like I fit in almost immediately.<p>

And knowing that the iCarlies were there made it even better. Okay, so I hadn't been totally thrilled when they hired an intern that _wasn't _me, but that's life, so whatever, you know? Carly, Sam, and Freddie were still cool.

(At least, I thought so. Don't get me wrong, they're a lot of fun, but they are _strange_.)

I was looking forward to this lock-in thing ever since they all told me about it at Sam and Freddie's weekly arm wrestling battle. (Sam is so tiny and delicate-looking. I have no idea how she is so strong. Freddie got seriously pwned there.) Plus Cort didn't work out as their intern, so they hired me! I was really psyched about that. I mean, you know, too bad for Cort, but _awesome _for me.

Working on iCarly was going to be sweet, because interning with electronic stuff for an internationally recognized comedy webshow would be great for credentials and college apps.

(Well, okay, yeah, and the girls are pretty hot. But that's just a bonus.)

The MoodFace app Freddie and I were working on was _sweet_. And then when Sam wanted to help us out at the lock-in? Even better. Freddie and Carly got all weird when Sam asked to be part of our project. I don't know why. Well – I guess that's not quite true. She'd been hanging out with me and Freddie a lot, and when she wasn't and it was just me and Freddie, Freddie tended to complain about her a lot and how vicious and lazy she is. But I hadn't gotten that impression from her. I don't know what was going on. Freddie kept acting confused whenever she was around and being nice.

Honestly, Sam was seeming like the normal one and Freddie the strange one, tweaking out every time Sam did something nice. Or, you know…normal.

Things got weird at the lock-in. First, Freddie whacked a chip and guac out of my hand, then had some heated conversation with Sam, and then when we did the MoodFace test on Sam, he got all freaked-out looking and bolted off to ask Carly for tissues. Only he took the laptop with him, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Sam didn't have any idea what his deal was, either. We figured we may as well put the project on pause, so she went and bought a sandwich while I took a bathroom break. Then we just snacked on tortilla chips (her homemade guacamole was _excellent_) and of course my fudge. (Also excellent.)

Later, Carly and Freddie emptied the library for a nonexistent two-headed frog and Carly turned out the lights on me and Sam. "I'm not comin' back," she said, a sly smile on her face as she shut the door behind her.

I took a step away from Sam and looked at her, feeling awkward. "Just a…one-headed frog?"

"Less impressive," she agreed.

"I'm confused," I admitted after another long awkward silence.

Sam glared at the door and sighed. "I'm not," she said, sounding annoyed. "I'll be back," she said as she marched across the room and turned on the lights. "Probably," she added, and then she was out the door.

She never came back. Well, I mean, I don't _think _she did. Not while I was there, anyway.

So after she left, I putzed around with the MoodFace equipment. Freddie still had the laptop, so there wasn't much I could do.

I waited awhile. I guess the other students were still out looking for the frog that didn't actually have two heads.

Then I got bored, and Freddie still wasn't back, so I left of the library and wandered around the halls to find him or Sam or at least see what people were up to.

I couldn't find Freddie anywhere, so I went over to the science room where Carly and that Gibby kid were doing their stimulation chamber experiment. Carly wasn't there, but Gibby was making notes and watching Carly's brother lie in the fetal position and twitch.

"Hey, Gibby," I said, walking over to him.

He looked over at me. "What up?"

I shrugged. "I think I lost my project partners. Have you seen Freddie or Sam?"

Gibby shook his head, still keeping an eye on Spencer. "Nah, man, but Sam was here a couple minutes ago and was talking about pie, and then she left, and then Carly left me alone to watch the subject." He tapped his clipboard. "Which is now crying and smelling like puke, and Carly is _totally _gonna make me clean it up again."

"Oh," I said. "Okay, thanks. I guess I'll head back to the library. Maybe they'll be there."

"Coolio," Gibby said absent-mindedly. "Hey," he turned to me as I was halfway out the door, "did Freddie tell you he and Sam were buying a horse?"

I paused, confused. "Um…no?"

"Huh," Gibby said. "Me neither. I've heard it around, though."

"O…kay," I muttered vaguely, and booked it out of there. Gibby's a nice kid, but he's pretty out there.

I went back upstairs and Carly almost smacked me in the face with the library door. "Oh, hey there, Brad," she said breathlessly, her eyes a little wild. "I wasn't spying."

"O…kay?" I said for the second time in five minutes. "I didn't – "

"I had no idea either!" she blurted out, talking almost too quickly for me to understand. "Oh my God, I can't believe I didn't see it. I can't believe she didn't _tell _- well, actually, I can. But oh my _God_."

"Uh…" I trailed off, pretty confused at what was going on. "Carly, I have no idea – "

"I don't either!" She cut me off again, now starting wild hand motions. "But then she – and he – and _this whole time I thought _– " Her eyes widened and she looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. "It was never you, Brad! Never! I'm so sorry. I just assumed…and you're so…" She stopped to breathe.

"It's okay?" I replied, still lost. "I think? Um…I'm gonna go in the library now."

"Right, totally," Carly agreed, sounding like she was wrapped up in whatever was happening in her brain and not actually paying attention to me at all.

"Okay…so…I'll…see you later, then," I said, and darted past her.

I was so confused.

Freddie was standing over by the equipment and staring off into space. "Hey, Freddie," I waved, walking over. "Where'd you go? Have you seen Sam?"

He whipped around to face me. "What? No. Why? I had no idea!" He sounded strangely defensive.

I was _so _confused. "Um…are you okay?"

"I'm fantastic. Nothing's wrong. What could be wrong? I'm fine. Is it hot in here? Everything's cool."

I was _so confused_. "Are you sure?"

"Totally sure, let's finish the project," Freddie nodded, looking like he thought he was being nonchalant. Which he wasn't.

I ended up doing most of the work on the MoodFace project that night. Whatever had happened from when Freddie helped Carly with the two-headed frog thing to when I found him in the library had shaken him up pretty badly.

Like, _really _badly. He couldn't focus on anything, and whenever I mentioned Sam, he got especially flustered and started talking quickly and disjointedly.

And he wouldn't tell me what was going on. _Something _must have happened between him and Sam, and it must have been _big_.

So for the rest of the night, I tried to keep the project going and tested other people and Freddie tweaked out.

Honestly, I was relieved to go home the next morning. I was tired from pulling an all-nighter, and Freddie acting all weird was seriously stressing me out, and Sam never came back, and Gibby kept coming over to ask me about horses, and I was starting to feel like interning at iCarly was a lot more than just webshow work.

Oh my God. I just wanted to do well on the project.


	3. Carly

**Disclaimer: Really?**

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><p>I am not a nosy person.<p>

Curious, yes.

Inquisitive, definitely.

But nosy? No, no.

I just really, _really _care about the wellbeing of my family and friends and would do anything to make sure they're happy. And if I have to…well, if I have to get in the middle of things to do that, then _I will_.

But I'm not _nosy_.

Honestly, I wasn't trying to spy on them. I mean, not _really_. It's just that Sam was being so _stubborn _about being in love with Brad. And really, why? Brad's cute! And nice! And smart! And he _likes to make food for other people to enjoy_. What part of that doesn't just _scream _"SAM SHOULD DATE THIS BECAUSE IT WOULD BE MAGICAL," huh? What part? None of it, that's right. Brad seemed so perfect for Sam, and also he _totally _thought she was cute, and also she was being all _nice _to him. That isn't normal Sam. What other conclusion could I draw?

The wrong one, obviously. But how in the _world _would I have guessed she was in love with _Freddie_? That's like. Mind-blowing. More than that. More like…more like mind-exploding. Or mind-destroying.

Actually, there's a certain phrase Sam likes to use to describe a feeling like that. It's kind of like "mind-bender," only the second half of the word isn't "bender." It's…_you_ know, it's dirty.

Well, that is how I felt.

Anyway. I was being all helpful and hooking Sam up by getting her and Brad alone in the library together. And, okay, it wasn't the smoothest of distractions, but it did the job. And, okay, yes, I _know _Sam and Brad aren't horses, but I figured the concept would be the same. They just needed a little…push. Or shove. Whichever I had to do.

Well, Sam ruined the whole thing by leaving the library. (I should have locked the door. That would have kept her in there. Actually, no it wouldn't have. Never mind.) She came down to Hennings' room where Gibby and I were torturing – I mean, experimenting on – Spencer and got all angry and annoyed about me trying to help.

I just want her to be _happy_. I told her that. And she got all "bake me a pie!" on me, and it just breaks my heart. Sam Puckett is my best friend in the entire world, and even though she's so freakin' _tough _about everything, when it comes to boys she's just _scared_. Sam is such an amazing person, but she hardly lets anyone _see _that. You know how many boyfriends she's had? Two. More like one and a half. In her whole entire life. And Jonah was a skunk-bag, and Pete didn't even hardly _notice _her till I girlified her, and then, well, that just isn't _Sam_, so that didn't work out. She didn't ever even kiss either of them. Her defensive walls are up so high, only a few people have ever gotten them down. Me, Freddie. Spencer _some_times. Not even Melanie, really. Her own _twin_. She never lets herself be vulnerable, never puts herself out there, and I just wish she _would_.

So after Sam left I had that little sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that happens whenever I get in a serious argument with my best friends, so I told Gibby to keep torturing – I mean experimenting – while I went to tell Freddie and ask him what I should do.

He told me to go back to my project and let Sam alone awhile to work things out on her own, that she needed a little space. Which, you know, was exactly right. So I did that.

But then…well…I felt like it had been long enough, so I left Gibby with Spencer again, and went to find her, and really, I wasn't _trying _to spy, I just _happened _to walk through the library, because, you know, that's where she and Freddie and Brad were working on their project, so it seemed like a logical place to look, and then I _happened _to notice two people out in the breezeway, and they were talking, and then they were kissing, and, okay, I stopped to look and see who it was, but then I recognized those red stripes and blonde curls and that blue and white button-down and brown hair, and _that _was when it struck me that _oh my God Sam and Freddie are kissing_.

Can you imagine seeing that? I thought they hated each other. I mean, I knew they didn't _hate _each other, but I didn't…I didn't realize they liked each other, you know, like _that_. So basically I was just standing there, creeping in the window, feeling totally shell-shocked and wondering a little bit if I was seeing things.

Then I figured I should probably book it out of there before they saw me spying. _Which is not what I was doing_. Well. On purpose, I mean.

I do not _run_. Because when I run, I sweat, and I think sweat is icky. But I ran out of the library like it was on fire, and then I almost whaled poor Brad in the face with the door. This is why I don't run. I could have broken his nose. Running is dangerous.

Anyway, even though I was totally _freaking out _on the inside, I did my best to act cool, calm, and collected while I was talking to him. I don't know how well I succeeded at that. I think pretty well. I don't remember. I was pretty preoccupied. But I think I was nonchalant. Maybe. I was whipped up. I still _am _whipped up. My conversation with Brad is a blur. Probably because I wasn't really paying attention to him. I'll just assume I was cool and relaxed. That's probably wishful thinking. I realized at some point that the library horse-barn thing was a _huge _mistake, because she was never in love with Brad! It was Freddie the whole time! I may have apologized to Brad. He may have been confused. I don't know.

I think it took a _lot _of restraint on my part to not attack Freddie or Sam with one of my eight million questions. I wanted them to come _tell _me. The last time they kissed, I didn't even know about it for like, a year. But then they promised me no more secrets, so I was hoping this new development, or whatever it means, wouldn't break that promise.

Especially since this is, you know, _huge_.

I was relieved to go home that morning. I really needed someone to talk to about this situation, and obviously Sam and Freddie were out of the question, so that meant Spencer.

Sam was supposed to ride home with us, but Spencer said she'd come into the science room and told him her mom was going to pick her up instead, which actually I think was good, because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep from attacking her with questions if I saw her.

I don't understand why she didn't _tell _me. I mean, I do. It's Freddie. They've been antagonizing each other for years. It's weird. It must be weird. She must think it's weird. But _still_. This is _adorable_. And _confusing_. I think I'm excited about it. I'm still having a hard time processing it. But I think I'm gonna be happy with this.

Oh my God, she's in love with Freddie.

Oh my _God_, she's in _love _with _Freddie_!


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